It Goes On Read online

  I poured my coffee and sat on the large couch with her. It was low to the ground and almost as deep as a bed.

  After folding my legs under me and taking a fortifying sip of coffee, I turned my entire body to face her. I stared, raising my eyebrows, hoping the look communicated that I still had questions and wanted answers. But she simply stared back at me.

  “What?” She finally asked after the length of a commercial.

  “What’s going on with work? What’s going on with the hotel?”

  She threw her head back and groaned. “I swear Kate, there’s nothing for you to worry about. I start work tomorrow, which I’m nervous about because Fridays are busy days to be trained at a new store.”

  Mom had a job as a manager at Macy’s in Georgia and was transferred to a nearby store. Maybe that was why she was nervous. I just never knew with her since she’s even more contained than I am.

  “Maybe that’s why they need a good manager like you, to organize things like when trainings should happen.” I hoped my compliment would take the worried look off her face.

  “I’ll be fine.” She crinkled her nose at me. “Now if you’re going out in public with Lexi, you should really take a shower.”

  I was blow drying my hair when Lexi arrived. Mom let her in and within seconds she was in the bathroom, hugging me.

  “I’m so damn happy you’re living close by now. Finally.” She held me at arm’s length and whistled, then turned us both to face the mirror. Lexi was more gorgeous in person than I thought possible. Her father was African American and Puerto Rican which gave her a unique look that was stunning. “Look out boys; we’re going to be trouble.”

  I laughed at her excitement. “Oh, this will be fun. Just remember, I don’t have to squeeze all that trouble into one week. I’m here for good.”

  “That’s great. Now finish drying your hair ‘cause I’m fucking starving. I’m going to catch up with Aunt Carly and find out if she’s holding out about winning the lottery. This place rocks.” She smacked my butt and left me to get ready.

  “Damn, these sandwiches are expensive.” Lexi scanned her menu and then added, “But it’s fine, I just got paid from my last photo shoot, and the sights could make it worth the prices.” She looked over her sunglasses as a man passed our table.

  We sat at a small round table outside a cafe within walking distance from my hotel. Only a short wrought iron fence separated us from the sidewalk.

  “It is pricey,” I agreed, too distracted by the menu and wondering if I could get away with ordering only water to people watch with Lexi. “How has work been going?”

  “It’s getting better. This last shoot had killer clothes, and I got to take some home. The designer said I was the perfect look for their line and they want me in future ads.”

  “That’s awesome. Wow. That’s a really big deal.” I slapped her arm, genuinely impressed. “We need to celebrate.”

  “Why don’t you lovely ladies come celebrate with me tonight?” A deep voice broke into our conversation.

  My eyes traveled up his dark jeans and fitted t-shirt, showing off a strong, tall body, to a pretty face topped with sandy blonde hair, just long enough to tell it would be curly if it grew.

  He was staring at Lexi. His gaze never left her as he handed us each a card for The Beacon, a bar in Beverly Hills.

  “You’re Brandon’s friend? I think I met you at Sonic before,” he questioned.

  She smiled up at him in recognition. “Yeah, Lexi. You’re Liam, right? This is my cousin, Kate.” She gestured towards me.

  Liam turned to shake my hand and caught me full force with his golden eyes. They reminded me of a wolf. I quickly shook his hand, feeling uneasy once I was under his direct stare.

  “Have we met before?” he asked with a playful smile that didn’t lessen the intensity of his gaze.

  “Um no, I only just got in town yesterday,” I said and cursed the shakiness of my voice.

  “Can I get you an extra chair?” Our server asked Liam.

  “No. It was good seeing you again Lexi, and very nice to meet you, Kate. You should come tonight, it’s close by. Here, if you use these cards, you can skip the line and cover charge.” His eyes locked with mine as he slid two smaller cards into my hand. I felt the warmth of his fingers as they grazed my hand. With a wink, he turned and walked away.

  We both placed our order ,and when the server left, Lexi squealed and grabbed the cards out of my hands. “The Beacon is the newest spot here, and we just got cards to pass the line. Sweet. I usually go out in Hollywood, but this could be fun. We’ve got to go.”

  “Um, I’m not old enough.” Then I remembered Lexi was only twenty as well. “We’re not old enough to get in,” I corrected.

  “Pff.” She waved me off. “I’ve got that covered. I have my own ID, and I have a friend who can lend you hers. It’ll be a good match. But a short skirt is usually the ticket in.” When she saw my look of doubt, she continued, “Please, the drinking age law is stupid. I can vote and go to fucking war, I deserve a drink.”

  “I don’t think cops care what you think about the law when they enforce it.”

  Lexi rolled her eyes. “Didn’t you just say we need to celebrate?”

  “I’ll think about it. I need to go back and take a nap, then see how I feel.”

  “Wow. You’re a wild one. Nap in the middle of the day and all that,” she teased.

  I spent the rest of lunch listening to Lexi talk about her photo shoots, her side job as a server at Friday’s, and her upcoming summer courses. Her schedule sounded exhausting, but she was a burst of energy.

  I walked Lexi to her car and promised I would call later about going out. But I didn’t promise I’d actually go.

  I looked forward to curling up on the couch and watching TV, something I’d not been able to do these last several days in a car. But when I stepped into our hotel room, there was a stranger in a gray fitted suit sitting on the couch with my mom.

  He stood as I entered, and Mom did the same but with less confidence. She seemed flustered and nervous as she pulled on her fingers and attempted a shaky smile at me.

  Adrenaline rushed through me, and I wasn’t sure if I should run or go to her side. I stayed by the open door until she spoke.

  “Darling, come sit down. Connor and I need to share some news with you.”

  I cringed. I hated when she called me darling. It always seemed phony coming from her lips. And the situation felt precarious; I didn’t know who Connor was, and I didn’t want to hear what they needed to tell me. But, while I thought no, my feet were already carrying me to the couch.

  Seated, I looked to my mom for an explanation, but the dark haired man in the suit stepped into my line of sight. He sat on the coffee table in front of me, and I leaned back, uncomfortable with his closeness.

  His arm rose, maybe to reach for me, but whatever its intent, he dropped it to his knee instead. “Kate, has your mother told you about me?”

  I shook my head slightly, trying to make sense of what was going on. Not sure what questions I should be asking, I stayed silent, waiting for them to explain.

  The man looked back to my mom, and she shrugged. “She never asked about you.”

  My stomach turned to ice, and the sensation began consuming other organs.

  He turned back to me and grabbed my hand.

  I couldn’t pull away. Not because of his grip, but because my muscles had lost function. I braced myself for his next words.

  “I’m sorry you’re only just meeting me or hearing about me. I want to make it up to you. I want to be a father to you, if you’ll let me.”

  ~Carly~

  Relief eased Carly’s tight muscles as she watched her daughter sink into herself. Kate wouldn’t make a scene now. Carly recognized all the signs. The way her shoulders tensed and raised slightly. Her body shrunk as she pulled everything in. Even her lips disappeared, tucking between her teeth. Carly hadn’t really expected Kate to lose her cool or ma
ke an embarrassing fuss, but with unexpected news, people sometimes have unexpected responses.

  She sipped her drink, hiding the smile that was beginning to form as the tension diminished and made her feel light headed. Neither of them, Kate or Connor, was paying any attention to her at the moment. They both had their identical brown eyes locked on each other’s, and Carly was more than happy to not be at the center of this conversation.

  This was between them—not her. She had done the only thing she could have done given the circumstances. But now she was finally going to get another chance, a do over. And this time, she wouldn’t make the same mistakes. This time, she would not let her emotions rule her actions. She was finally going to get the future that Kate and she deserved. But first, she had to get through this moment.

  She watched as Connor held Kate’s hand, and she wondered if he could tell that his daughter was slipping away and not present in the conversation. She had tried to warn him, tried to tell him that they should wait to tell Kate, but he was insistent. And she was not in a position to argue, she needed to be agreeable. She needed to be someone he would want to keep around. Especially since he was not only wealthy and single, but Connor Baycroft had aged nicely, making her plan a little more difficult.

  Chapter Three

  Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.

  JK Rowling

  I had a father.

  He was murdered when I was in Kindergarten. He was a police officer and died in the line of duty—some druggy scumbag shot him.

  He was the best man I’d ever known.

  I. Had. A. Father.

  This man in front of me was not my father. But he kept saying he was.

  The ice-cold feeling that started in my core spread to my limbs.

  “I know I can’t make up for the past twenty years, but I want to do what I can. Once I learned you both were moving here, I began making arrangements for you. This hotel, the apartment you’ll move to next week, and a bank account.”

  He pulled a blue credit card from his pocket and placed it in my hand. My name was printed on the front. Kate Green.

  “There’s ten thousand dollars in the account to get you started. I’m also going to pay off your student loans and pay for college so you can continue your education. Anything you need, let me know.”

  I tried to raise my hand and stop his talking, but I was frozen. Unable to move, I closed my eyes to block out any new information. This was all too much. I couldn’t handle any more.

  It worked. He stopped talking.

  When I opened my eyes, he was standing. His eyes drilled into mine. “I’ll go now. Come by tomorrow for dinner to meet your sisters.”

  My heart stopped.

  Carly walked him to the door, and they embraced with mumbled words.

  Then he was gone. As if he had not just shattered my world into unrecognizable pieces.

  After several moments, I regained some function of my limbs and could move. I wanted a drink but thought better of it. If I had a glass in my hand, I would throw it at Carly’s head. I couldn’t even think of her as my mother.

  The anger that boiled around in my body was at odds with the icy feeling that was still present throughout. I was restless but stunned into motionlessness. I wanted to scream but was choked into silence. Everything inside me was at odds. An internal war, both physically and mentally.

  Carly stood by the door staring at me. “I’m going to go… I have to check out the apartment Connor set up. I—We’ll talk later?”

  I just stared at her.

  “Wow.” She had a trill, nervous laugh, that belied the excitement she was pretending at. “He gave you ten thousand dollars. Go spend it. Have fun. There’s plenty more where that came from, and he owes you.” She turned and walked out the door, leaving me alone.

  I didn’t want to have that conversation later with her—I needed to leave.

  Still unsure of my ability to talk, I picked up my phone in a shaky grip and texted Lexi.

  I’ll go out tonight. I need a new outfit. Can you come get me?

  Several hours later, we’d returned from shopping and were taking shots of Tequila in Lexi’s apartment. She lived within walking distance to UCLA campus, in a small two-bedroom apartment. Her living room had two couches and a TV, with different jeweled color liquor bottles placed on bare surfaces as decoration.

  After our third shot, she questioned me, “So what the fuck is going on? I mean, I appreciate this new wild side, but you just spent a shitload of money on yourself, you're taking shots, and you’re not acting like you. You haven’t even smiled or laughed once.”

  With the shots loosening my lips and numbing my reserve, I decided to just be honest. Besides this was Lexi, the one person on earth I could open up to. “When I got back to the hotel, a man was there. He said he’s my father. And he gave me a bunch of money.” There. I think that about covered the important facts.

  Lexi’s mouth dropped open. She sat silent for a moment before interrogating me. “Shit. Who is he? Does he have other kids? What about your other dad?”

  I cringed at the mention of my “other” dad. I didn’t like that term. He was my dad. This man, Connor, was the “other.”

  “I don’t know anything. We’re supposed to have dinner tomorrow. He mentioned sisters… but I froze. And then Carly left right after he did to avoid explaining.” I turned to Lexi, letting her see the desperation in my eyes as I pleaded, “I just want to forget everything. If I think about what all this means, I start freaking out. Like full blown panic attack. Everything Carly’s told me is a lie, and I don’t know what’s up anymore. Tonight, I don’t want to be me. I’m just someone with money to spend.”

  Lex nodded as she let what I said sink in. Then she smiled. “Let’s drink to that.” She poured two more shots. “To forgetting and spending money. I can help you with that.”

  After we chased the shots with a lime, Lexi pulled me off the couch. “Let’s go get ready; the boys will be here shortly.”

  When I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn’t recognize the woman staring back. Lexi had straightened my black hair to sleek perfection. It hung in a curtain down to the small of my back. I was wearing a tight, black, strapless, mini dress and fire engine red lipstick that matched my heels. Lexi looked similar, except her dress was black lace and had a peephole that revealed her perfect cleavage. Her long, sleek legs put her on a different level from me. I might normally feel insecure standing next to such a knockout, but not tonight. Tonight, I was over feeling anything.

  Lexi leaned forward in the mirror, pulling and adjusting the top of her dress, then she turned and adjusted the bottom. “Damn, we look good.” She blew a kiss to me in the mirror. “Ready?”

  “Ready,” I confirmed.

  As we entered the living room Lexi’s two friends, Ronny and Paul, stood and brought us each a shot and a lime.

  I quickly downed the alcohol and was sucking on the lime before Paul could make his toast.

  “Damn. I was going to say, ‘to beautiful ladies and the lucky bastards who get to escort them.’” Paul clinked his glass with Ronny and Lexi before raising it and drinking his shot.

  A car horn blared out front and Lexi linked her arm through mine, dragging me to the door. “Ride’s here, let’s go!”

  The outside of The Beacon was lit up bright, search lights crossed the night sky. A line had already formed and was roped off from the street. The warm night air was filled with music from the club and laughter from the crowd in line.

  Ronny put his arm around Lexi and started walking to the back of the line.

  “Wait, we can go right in, remember?” I pulled the two passes from my clutch.

  Lexi slid out of Ronny’s embrace and grabbed my hand as we walked to the front of the club, the boys trailing behind.

  I had enough alcohol running through me that I didn’t worry about being carded. Once we flashed the passes Liam had given us, the bouncer didn’t ask
any questions. He spoke into his earpiece and opened the velvet rope for us to enter.

  A long entrance hall opened up to an enormous space, the club was three floors, and balconies wrapped around the perimeter of the dance floor. A dark red interior and low curvy furniture managed to make the open space look sexy and intimate.

  “Let’s hit the bar first and then find some seats.” Lexi grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd to the long bar stretching across the front of the club.

  Many heads turned as she navigated the sea of people, the guys with lust and girls with jealousy.

  When we made it to the bar, Paul leaned towards my ear and asked, “What would you like to drink?”

  I shook my head and held up my new credit card. “I’ll get it, thanks.” I tried to muster a smile for him, but couldn’t. I wanted to get drunk, and reckless, and not be me tonight, but I couldn’t lead on a guy who I would most likely see again. This was Lexi’s friend. I didn’t want to ruin that.

  Plus, I wanted to spend Connor’s money. Preferably on stuff he wouldn’t be proud of. It would be his fault since he didn’t raise me. God, I needed a drink and to stop thinking about him.

  Paul shrugged it off and leaned onto the bar, signaling to the bartender without success.

  Lexi tugged on my hand, pulling me closer to the bar. “Guys are working tonight. We’ll have better luck getting their attention.”

  I followed her lead and leaned on the bar, trying to wave the bartenders over.

  A hand slid over my lower back as a deep voice spoke into my ear, “What are you ladies drinking tonight?”

  I recognized Liam, and in my drunken haze, I hugged him without thinking. He smelled awesome, like cinnamon and something masculine. I really wanted to lick him, but I refrained. He looked hot in his black jeans and dark green dress shirt rolled at the sleeves. But I was surprised at my reaction to him—I’d never been so physically attracted to someone. Maybe it was because I’d never been this drunk before.