OtherSide Of Fear (Outside The Ropes #3) Read online

  OtherSide Of Fear

  Book Three of Outside The Ropes

  ASHLEY CLAUDY

  Regan and Gage have fought their entire lives.

  For themselves.

  For each other.

  Now together, side by side.

  As new fears arise, mixing with the old ones of their past, will they be strong enough to make it through?

  Can they make it to the OtherSide of Fear?

  Copyright© 2015 Ashley Claudy

  All rights reserved. No parts of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written consent from the author except for use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Cover by R.B.A. Designs.

  Table Of Contents

  OtherSide Of Fear

  1: Almost

  2: Smoke And Mirrors

  3: Empty

  4: Little Bit

  5: Some Rumors

  6: Need To Know

  7: That’s it?

  8: Slipping

  9: Into The Dark

  10: Only

  11: Off Limits

  12: Time

  13: Wrong

  14: Ruined

  15: Never Had A Chance

  16: For Now

  17: Under My Skin

  18: The Past

  19: Surrounded

  20: Never That Good

  21: Oath

  22: If I should

  23: Apologize

  24: Same Mistake

  25: Opposite

  26: Regret This

  27: Now or Never

  28: No control

  29: Drained

  30: Gone Too Far

  31: Ready Set

  32: Do It

  33: One Way

  34: Hold On

  35: Eye For Detail

  36: Set Me Up

  37: I Can See It

  38: Against Everything

  39: Orders

  40: Ticking Bomb

  41: Goodbye

  42: Does It Hurt

  43: Prove Yourself

  44: Madness

  Thank You

  A Note From The Author

  About The Author

  Fun Stuff

  Do not go gentle into that good night.

  Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

  ~ Dylan Thomas

  1: Almost

  MY STOMACH ROLLED AND SKIN WAS CLAMMY. Hot and cold warred inside me, erupting in beads of sweat on my skin. Bright orbs danced in my vision, blocking the small audience from view.

  Closing my eyes, I swallowed hard, forcing saliva down my dry throat and replayed my conversation with Gage in my head.

  “You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready, but I know you can.”

  “I feel like I’m going to throw up. What if I throw up?” Panic had already taken up residence in me, a strong vine twisting and choking out everything else.

  “Then you throw up.” He lifted his shoulders easily, a beautiful smile on those full lips. His hands circled around me, pulling me into his body and I was able to relax slightly.

  I opened my eyes, the spots gone, the ring clear. Coach was behind me, removing my silk robe. Sylvie was next to him, encouraging me.

  “You’ve got this Regan. You’re ready, more than ready. That girl doesn’t stand a chance.” She squeezed my shoulders with firm hands. “Loosen up some.”

  “Babe, look at me.” Even in the dim lighting of the changing room, his blue eyes were bright. But all amusement was gone, his tone serious. “You’ve been training. You’re prepared. You know physically you’re the better boxer. The only thing that can get in the way is your fear.” His hands slid over my shoulders, down my arms. “If you’re not ready for this, we can leave right now.” His grip tightened, keeping me from pulling away. “You can do whatever you want and I’ll be right there. Go out there and try, but if it’s too much, walk out.”

  I shook my head, dropping my eyes from his. I couldn’t allow myself to think of an escape. “I can’t do that. They’re counting on me. If I don’t do this, they’ll probably kick me off the team.”

  He lifted my chin with his fingers, making me meet his eyes, a cocky glint sparking in them. “Do you know who your husband is? You don’t need this damn college team. You could throw up all over that ring and I’d still have you boxing next week if that’s what you wanted to do.”

  Rolling my shoulders and shaking my arms, I turned around, facing the audience. I found Gage in the front row and my nerves slowed their rapid-fire assault. He inclined his head towards me and I could see the question in his eyes. Was I all right, could I go through with this?

  I nodded and gave a tight smile in reassurance. Just knowing he was there was enough. Turning back towards the ring, I stretched my neck as I faced my opponent and waited for the announcer to finish.

  The bell cut through my anxiety, my body propelling me forward, towards the girl, without thought. She was tall and thin, and held her body awkwardly, like she didn’t fit her long limbs.

  I leaned, dodging her glove as she jabbed towards me with her right and blocked a left jab with my arm. Then she pulled her arms back to cover her face. Her reach was long, but punches sloppy. I almost felt bad for what I was about to do. Almost.

  Her attack, no matter how weak, was enough to spark my adrenaline. Excitement replaced the fear and anxiety pumping through me, energizing me.

  I jabbed her stomach and followed with a wide hook to the side of her head. She crumpled forward, but stayed on her feet, her eyes wide. I swung again and connected with the opposite side of her head. She dropped to the canvas with a thud.

  Stepping back, I didn’t take my eyes off her. She wasn’t knocked out, but she was curled up on the mat. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish, no air reaching her lungs. I waited for her to push herself up and return to the fight, but she didn’t. The ref reached ten and declared me the winner. I was almost disappointed that it all ended so quickly, just as I was getting into it.

  For a second, I wished Dexter had been there to shake me out of my thoughts and pump me up about my win, but the rush soon came on its own, flooding me with excitement. I did it. And it had been easy. I could keep doing this.

  Sylvie was in my corner, rubbing her hands together. “Ragin’ Regan, this might be our year. With you, we might have a chance of making it regionally.”

  Coach slid between the ropes, smile bright as he smoothed his grey hair back on the sides. “Hell, even maybe nationally.” His face lit up with his dream, but I’d be lying if I said the idea wasn’t enticing. I wanted it too.

  But I looked past them as Gage pulled himself up onto the canvas. Everything else faded away, and only then did I feel breathless. The match hadn’t touched me, not like his presence did. His lips curled and he extended one arm to me.

  My body was already there, gravitating towards him.

  “I told you—” He started, but I gripped his collar, pulling him towards me, silencing him with my lips.

  For once, I was able to kiss him after my fight, and I wasn’t going to waste the moment. I could feel his laughter bubbling out of him, his breath bouncing over my lips. So I slid my hands around his neck, pulling him in closer, sliding my tongue in his mouth.

  That stopped his laughter, and he wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me to him, off of my feet. The r
opes wedged between us pressed into my stomach, but I didn’t care about that, only that it was a barrier from his body. He lowered me down until my feet were firmly back on the mat, reluctantly returning me to the ground and letting the outside world back into our bubble.

  ***

  “Lawson, hold up.” A voice cut through the buzz of the gym, just as I exited the locker room.

  Gage pushed off the wall he had been waiting on, saying a quick goodbye to the group of people he’d been talking to. He grabbed my hand as he turned to the caller. “Yeah?”

  At the same time, I turned towards the voice with a raised eyebrow.

  Coach pushed through the concession line and stopped in front of Gage and I.

  “Lawson.” He paused between us with a small laugh and shrugged. “Both of you. You leaving already? Not going to stick around for the next fight?”

  “Not tonight.”

  “Hey, Lightning. Good fight last week,” someone yelled as they passed by.

  Gage nodded to the person and then continued, “We’ve got plans.”

  I didn’t know about that and hoped it was a lie. I wanted nothing more than to get him alone and work out this adrenaline and energy coursing through me. Gripping Gage’s hand tighter and stepping closer to his body, I smiled politely at Coach Finnegan.

  “Well, I’ll see you at practice on Sunday then?” At my nod he continued, “Hell of a job tonight girly. Hell of a job.”

  Gage dropped my hand and slid his arm around me, turning me away from the older man and towards the door.

  “Thanks, see you Sunday,” I called over my shoulder with a giggle as Gage whispered in my ear.

  “I need you alone. Now.” His voice was low and heated, and his breath sent chills down my skin.

  Escaping out of the side door, we made our way to the deserted parking garage. Even with the crazy city traffic, Gage had insisted on driving. The garage was filled with cars, but empty of people. Our whispered teasing echoed in the concrete space, and our steps were even louder, bouncing off the walls around us.

  He laughed into my neck, swinging me in front of him so I was forced to walk backwards as he dragged his nose over my skin.

  “Babe, I knew you could do it.” He growled as his lips reached my ear. “You were hot as hell in that ring. That girl didn’t stand a chance.” His lips claimed mine, and his hands slid to my ass, easily lifting me onto him in an instant.

  I gripped him tighter, wrapping my legs around his waist with a small moan. The slow burn that had been simmering low in my stomach erupted.

  “My sexy fighter,” he mumbled, sliding his lips over my chin to my neck.

  My head fell back with a laugh, giving him better access. I loved the shocks of sensation he sent through me, all the way to my toes.

  He pushed me against the SUV, reminding me of where we were. Hell if I could stop this though. I didn’t want to stop him.

  “My champ.” I blew into his ear before sucking the lobe into my mouth, and my fingers curled into his hair.

  He walked us around the car and then opened the passenger side door, setting me on the seat. With his hands free now, he slid them under my shirt. His head dipped down to my neckline, nipping and licking the skin at my collar and completely stealing my air in a rush of fire.

  He froze, and I popped my eyes open.

  Before I even registered what stopped him, he was up and whipped around. He had one gun pressed to the man’s chest in front of him, and another aimed at a second man’s head.

  “Drop it,” Gage demanded of the second man who had a gun vaguely pointed in my direction.

  I sat up, drained of all heat as I processed the scene. The taller man in front of Gage with spikey black hair and black eyes didn’t have a gun. Gage must have taken it because I didn’t recognize the gun he had aimed at the man. The second man, a shorter man with a bald head, lowered his gun. He was looking directly into the barrel of Gage’s gun, a gun I recognized, the one he carried on him at all times.

  “Good.” Gage’s voice was calm, and his face blank. “Now Regan, go back inside. Wait by the locker room. I’ll find you soon.” He didn’t take his eyes off the men in front of us.

  I was already reaching under the seat. I had hoped I’d been paranoid in thinking I would need this again one day, but it proved useful now. Pulling out the gun I had strapped there, I clicked off the safety and stepped out of the car.

  Aiming directly at the second man, I removed the gun from his hand and stood beside Gage. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  I felt Gage look at me, and I let my gaze meet his out of the corner of my eye. He was smiling as he shook his head, but he surprised me by placing a brief kiss on my neck.

  “Well okay then.” Gage slid one gun back into his waist, looking between both men. “Who’s going to talk first and tell me what the fuck you think you’re doing?”

  2: Smoke And Mirrors

  NEITHER MAN RESPONDED TO GAGE’S QUESTION. THEY stared at us, lips closed. The silence stretched, filling with tension till it burst with a gunshot.

  Gage had moved fast. He shot the man in the foot with one hand and caught his crumpling body with the other, pressing him to the car at his back. All within one explosive heartbeat—my explosive heartbeat.

  The shot man’s moan echoed in my head like grinding metal, but I strengthened my grip on the gun in my hand and feigned confidence while my heart hid in my stomach.

  “Someone probably heard that. So talk now or the next bullet will be in your head.” Gage pressed his gun to the tall man’s dark hair. “You’ve got till three. One…Two—”

  “Alessandra,” the spikey haired man practically yelled, eyes twisting in an attempt to see the gun pressed to his temple.

  Gage released his grip on him, and he sunk to the ground.

  “Alessandra?” Gage questioned the bald man at the end of my pistol, but he didn’t respond except to glare at his companion who was knelt on the ground, gripping his foot.

  The purr of a motor starting from across the garage stilled us, and then headlights brightened the area.

  Gage yanked the man on the ground up by the collar of his shirt and pushed him into our SUV.

  “Get back here,” he ordered me with a nod of his head.

  When I took up his spot behind the door, he stepped in front and pressed his gun to the bald man’s back, out of view of the passing car.

  Except it didn’t pass. Headlights spotlighted our group, and then a sleek black limo eased to a stop directly in front of us. One of the tinted windows slid down.

  “Get in Lawson,” an unseen female called from inside the darkened interior, just as another car pulled up behind it.

  The drivers of both cars stepped out. Two gorilla looking men. One opened the back door to the limo; the other approached us. He spoke in a rough language, Russian probably, and the bald man with Gage responded in the same quick tongue.

  The man bleeding all over the floor of our car tried to call out to them, but I stepped closer and pressed my gun into his neck to silence him. I kept looking to Gage, but his back was to me.

  The driver stopped in front of Gage and jerked his head to the open limo door. “You can go with Mrs. Rusnak. I’ll take care of these two.”

  My blood froze, cracking my veins. Alessandra Rusnak. Anatoli’s wife.

  “Regan, you should go inside now,” Gage’s voice was deceptively calm, but he wasn’t fooling me.

  I didn’t want to argue with him in front of everyone—especially not these people—but I was not leaving him.

  “Eet tee,” the big man snapped at the bald one, nodding to the car behind the limo.

  The bald man stepped towards the car, fearing the big man more than a bullet from Gage.

  The man at the end of my gun began to rise as well.

  “Gage?” I questioned, adding pressure to the trigger.

  “Let him go,” he responded, stepping towards the limo.
“What do you want Alessandra?”

  “Oh, get in,” she was quick. “And your new wife can join us. I just want to talk”

  He braced one arm on the limo, leaning down to the open door. “Something about your approach doesn’t make me trust that you just want to talk.”

  His voice held a hint of teasing, almost a laugh, and I failed to find the humor in his words. I closed the door to our SUV and stepped closer to him, heart hammering in my chest.

  “What was I to do? You weren’t responding to my messages and last time we saw each other you put a gun in my face.” Her voice was smooth, sending chills over my skin. “Now get in.”

  Gage turned towards me, but didn’t step away from the car. There was a warning in his glance, but something else too, and I wished I’d asked him more questions about his time with Rusnak. Before he could speak, she beckoned to me.

  “Get in, sweetheart.” Damn her for sounding like her husband.

  I didn’t break eye contact with Gage until he reached out his hand for me. He guided me into the car with a regretful acceptance, and followed behind me.

  The big man shut the door behind us as we slid in. Gage took the seat across from Alessandra, against the partition separating the front of the limo, and I sat beside him.

  Alessandra’s dark hair was pulled back in a sleek ponytail and a knee length black dress hugged her body. Her sharp eyes looked me over, her expression critical.

  Gage slid closer to me, so close I could feel the heat from his body, and he draped an arm over the seat behind me. It eased some of the fear and doubt that had been winding around me but didn’t break it completely.

  As the car started moving, driving out of the parking garage, I resisted the urge to lean into him. Instead, I sat up tall, trying to mimic the power that radiated from the woman sitting opposite us.

  She bounced a cigarette on the console between her fingers, packing it down. Her movements were slow and deliberate as the silence settled around us, pressure building. Lighting the cigarette between her lips, she cracked the window at her side and blew out the smoke, eyes never leaving us.